Love & Light or Shit & Tears?
Updated: Sep 2, 2020
Life as a Yoga Teacher is not always Love & Light!!
It is often Shit & Tears!! And most certainly gritty!
There is a fantastic meme abound the internet that shows the image reality of a spiritual journey.
It ain't healthy glowing skin & smiles - it is sleepless nights, blood shot eyes from crying, sickness from detoxing.....the list goes on.
And I have found this week to be particularly challenging.
Let me explain.
I returned from Cornwall, a place I call my 'heart home'. It is where I feel the most complete and whole when I am there.
A walk on the beach or cliff tops is all I need to reset any unbalance that shows its ugly head while I am there.
It is the one place that has been an absolute constant in my life and I feel safe there.
Whenever I leave, I am always a little bit low, that is expected.
However, right now, I am experiencing some other kind of low!
A feeling of hopelessness that I have not experienced in a long time.
A feeling I don't belong, I am not settled, I am wasting my life!!
These thoughts are constantly running around in my head.
And I think I know why.
Right now, as I type, we are getting ready to go back to school after almost 6 months off.
I am getting ready to go back into schools to teach Yoga after 6 months at home.
We don't know how things are going to be. My son doesn't know how he is going to be at school, I don't know how my classes are going to work.
All of these things add up to what then amounts to a feeling of loss of control, instability, and uncertainty.
No wonder I am feeling hopeless & low - I have no idea how our lives are going to be in a couple of weeks.
The reasonable side of my brain knows that 'all will find a way' and that things will be fine - but the unknowing creates upset and that is what I am working through right now.
And you will often hear the age old saying 'It is what it is' - which, yes is fundamentally true, however in times like this - it really doesn't help!!
My best friend and I were on the phone the other day, we were discussing gratitude and 'how lucky we are'.
We both have great lives, doing work we love, have great relationships and freedom - and yet there are times when you think 'F**K THAT!! I am Unhappy! I don't care that I should be grateful - right now, I am miserable'!!
And of course that made us laugh hysterically.
You see, life is not supposed to be Love & Light. When I do feel crappy, I know that, at some point, the cloud will lift and I will feel good again.
It takes a chat with a best friend, an awareness of 'the bigger picture', a sense of humour.
You are perfect - even on days when you don't feel it - a 'down day' is just that 'a day'. Sometimes a few days, sometimes a week, sometimes a season but nothing, nothing my gorgeous friend, is EVER PERMANENT.
Do you feel anything like this? If you do please leave a comment in the box below. I would love you to share with me so that we can support each other along.
In the meantime, one thing for certain is that the root chakra is the main bad boy for assisting us in feeling super safe & steady.
I have been practising some root chakra strengthening yoga.
Enjoy my darlings and don't forget to leave a comment. (otherwise you may make me cry)